Through the passage of time, marriage goes through some predictable phases.
PHASE 1 - PASSION
You're head over heels in love and ecstatically happy that you've finally found your soul mate.
PHASE 2 - "WHAT DID I SEE IN HIM/HER?"
This second phase is a really difficult one. This is where reality sets in and you realize your partner has flaws, some of them serious....arguments start and you may find yourself wondering what you ever saw in your partner in the first place. Add to this disillusionment the pressures of daily life and no wonder problems start to develop.
PHASE 3 -"EVERYTHING WOULD BE PERFECT IF MY SPOUSE CHANGED"
You feel that everything would be fine if your spouse changed some annoying behavior or trait. The sad part is that some couples stay suck in the phase forever.
After a while, couples make 1 of 3 choices.
1. give up and decide to divorce
2. give up and decide to stay unhappily married.
3. decide to learn how to have a healthier and happier marriage.
PHASE 4 - ACCEPTANCE
In this phase you realize that you're never going to agree with your partner on every issue. You learn to become more tolerant and forgiving.
PHASE 5-PEACEFUL CO-EXISTENCE
You find peace and harmony together. You start to genuinely like your spouse and start to focus on your partners virtues rather than continue to be obsessed by his/her faults.
You feel proud of the storms you have weathered together and now have a shared history.
By now the kids are probably older and more independent. You can now focus on your marriage and eachother again.
What once looked like an insurmountable problem could be nothing more than a phase.
(I can honestly say that I have spent time in each one of these stages...Loving Stage 5!)
5 comments:
wow! i loved that. remember years ago when we went to womens conference together and we took that marriage class, and they talked about the three ways people express love? Words-Gifts-Service. The way you express it is the way you want it shown to you. Jerry's is service can you guess what mine is?
Gifts???!!!!
I think there should be 6: Too tired and too much in love to care about the small stuff anymore..is that still 5? I just added the too tired..that seems to be my motto lately..such a true post!!
ya, that's still #5. I think #6 is when you grown old, wrinkly and fat together....that's where we're headed next! lol!
This was great Lisa! I keep wondering what phase I am at, I think I keep changing all the time. I loved this, thanks.
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